how to approach a ‘difficult’ meeting with an employee
There are many positive aspects to being an organisational leader – recognition, visibility, increased responsibility, greater influence – to name a few. Leadership also comes with the responsibility of getting the best from your team members. And sometimes individuals underperform and it’s your responsibility to address it with them in a meeting.
These are the types of meetings that many leaders dread. It’s usually driven by a sense of fear – how will the individual receive the feedback? Will it affect their morale and performance? What if they become upset or angry? How might that employee’s view of you change? I’ve known leaders become so anxious at the prospect of such a meeting that they will do almost anything to avoid or delay it. But that doesn’t help the employee in question, or the leader.
So called ‘difficult meetings’ don’t have to be difficult. In this blog, I’ll show you some steps to take, and things to consider, that can make meetings like this much more straightforward that you imagine and that will help lead to a positive outcome.
prepare
When you know you’re going to have a meeting with a member of your team, you need to ensure you’ve done enough preparation. This is likely to be an important meeting for your employee and you owe it to them to allocate yourself enough time to prepare in advance. Proper preparation will allow a more straightforward and constructive meeting.
Think carefully about the reason for the meeting – what is the specific issue that you want to address? If the individual is underperforming, be clear in your mind about the specific issue. Is their work of a poor quality? In which case, how? Are they not completing their work on time? Again, identify which tasks are not being completed.
If there are several different performance issues with that employee, for the purpose of the meeting, select one or, at most, two issues that you want to discuss. It’s better that you focus on one or two areas of particular concern and help your employee address those areas than risk diluting your message by raising too many issues at once.
Find specific examples of the behaviour you are trying to address. If necessary, speak to one or two of their colleagues in advance and gather facts, not hearsay. Remember, the purpose of the meeting is to highlight specific issues and to help the employee address them and improve. The more specific you are, the more they will relate to your message.
find the right setting
The meeting may be sensitive for your employee so choosing an appropriate setting will show respect to your employee and facilitate a more open and constructive meeting. Choose somewhere fairly private, away from the individual’s colleagues and try to create a setting that’s less formal. This is not a ‘parent/child’ interaction but two colleagues discussing a mutually important topic.
communicate honestly & clearly
During the meeting, be honest and clear about the issue you want to address. Ambiguity can lead to confusion and misunderstanding, so use everyday language rather than jargon. And deliver the message in a way that shows your employee that you care and want to help them.
Communicate the issue, provide the prepared examples to illustrate the point, and explain what impact it’s having on the team and the business. Perhaps clients are not having their expectations met or colleagues are having to pick up the slack.
Communication should be two-way, so ask questions to check your employee has understood the issue clearly. And then give the individual an opportunity to explain themselves. Try to understand the root cause of the issue. You may find that they are completely unaware of the performance issue, or that they are struggling with a particular aspect of their role. Perhaps the underlying issue is related to communication within the team or maybe there’s something going on outside work that’s affecting them. It’s difficult to ‘fix’ the issue until you really know the root cause.
be the coach
Coaching is a key leadership skill and it’s invaluable in situations like this. Rather than telling your employee what they need to do, ask them questions to get them thinking about what they can do to improve in that area. Through your questions, help them explore different options. The more you involve them in finding the solution, the more ownership they will take.
agree a plan
Agree the steps your employee will take to start to address the issue. And acknowledge any steps that you may have to take to help them, for example providing clearer expectations, providing training on a specific topic or coaching.
It’s important that your employee commits to the specific next steps. What will they do and by when? It’s advisable to put this in writing immediately after the meeting while it’s fresh in both your minds. Ask your employee to document the agreed actions and email them to you. The more involved they are, the more ownership and control they will feel.
follow up
Finally, before you end the meeting, agree a date for a follow-up meeting to review progress. A follow-up meeting will help with accountability and send a strong message that you are committed to helping the employee. Further follow-up meetings may also be required but don’t leave long periods of time between reviews as it’s easy for your employee to think you have forgotten about the issue.
Difficult meetings don’t have to be ‘difficult. There are many things you can do to make them more straightforward and more effective for you and your team members. Make sure you’re fully prepared, be clear, specific and honest with your employee and remember that the purpose of the meeting is to help them find ways to improve.
If you’d like to gain more of an understanding of how to approach difficult conversations or if your leadership team needs help in this area, please get in touch so that we can schedule a call. You can contact me info@iniceos.com